I don't know whether to laugh because you're my friend, or cry because that's all we'll ever be.
Our love was like a rose, beautiful, but it cannot last forever.
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
You laugh at us because we're different. We laugh at you because you're all the same.
When love is reached through suffering it has a power it can never gain through innocence.
Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road.
People who have suffered usually make great friends, since they tend to be less judgemental than others.
I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I don't mind Jesus, it's his fan club I can't stand.
When you grow up in America things like Christianity waters down your feeling... When you're taught to love everybody, taught to love you're enemies, what value does that put on love?
Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream .
That which does not kill us, only makes us stranger.
Come on guys! Let's go save the helpless dragon from the evil princess!
When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
God gave man both a penis and a brain, unfortunately he didn't give enough blood supply to run to both at the same time.
Profanity is a crutch for the inarticulate motherfucker.
I didn't escape, they gave me a day pass!!
Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.
I am the opptomistic pessimist, and the world has given me no choice.
Humanity fears death, chaos, and destruction, yet they cause it in their everyday lives...
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to...
To know me is to know pain as well as pleasure, esctasy as well as despair, and to be blessed and damned at the same time.
Those who fear dark have never seen what light can do.
Only in their dreams can mankind be free.
A rose among thorns is like a genius among the foolish, both greatly misunderstood by those who are ignorant.
What they cannot see i shall acknowledge, what they cannot acknowledge I will I shall master, what they fear so shall I embrace.
I am only a man, hence I only understand pain; now speak to me.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but ignorance has killed more than that.
A little rebellion every now and then is a good thing.
Great minds have always found violent opposition from mediocrities
And we tried so hard, and looked so good, and lived our lives in black.
In my search of love and music, my whole life has been illumination, corruption, and diving, diving, diving, diving down to pick up every shiney thing.
Perhaps I'm unique because everyone else is so dull. I'm not very good at being dull.
Without music, life would be a mistake
Irresponsibility isn't a sickness.....it's an art!
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
Forget love, I'd rather fall into chocolate
Never invoke the gods unless you actually want them to appear. It annoys them very much.
The worst prison is a closed heart
A truely wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
The quickest way to a man's heart is not through his stomach but through his chest, with an axe.
I'd insult you but you're not bright enough to notice.
If you can't lower heaven, raise hell.
Order is for idiots, genius can handle chaos.
I take orders from no one, I fight for only what I beleive in.
That which does not kill us only makes us stranger.
There is eloquence is screaming.
EVERYTHING!! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked for the child to be taken. I took him. You cowered before me and I was frightening. I have re-ordered time. I have turned the world upside-down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn't that generous?
What a nice night for an evening...
When I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Some people say I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
Those who judge others will burn in hell!
Prejudiced people are all alike.
There's no such thing as non-exsistance.
As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question
Exageration is a billion times worse than understatement!
I'd give my right arm to ambidextrous
Rehab is for quitters!
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
Some people type so fast that they forget to include
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out there to make me paranoid....
I keep telling myself I'm a pathological liar, but I'm not sure I beleive myself.
Honk if you love peace and quiet
He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
I have my doubts about disbelief...
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Having a smoking section in a resturant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.........
"Bother" said Pooh, as the brakes went out.
In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death.
Razors pain you. Rivers are damp. Acids stain you and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give. Gas smells awful; you might as well live.
When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming like all the passangers in his car.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
If I had some ham, I could have ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.
On the other hand, there are different fingers.
It IS as bad as you think, they ARE out to get you.
I love cats. They taste like chicken.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
In just a few short days, tomarrow will be yesterday....
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Take my advice....I don't use it anyway.
The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and forget to hit the ground.
The dumber you think people are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.
George Washington's brother was the uncle of our country.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.....
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies...
Friends who think they're perfect are annoying to those of us who really are.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is NOT our friend.
I want a man that's sensitive, caring, and loves cats. Unfortunatly, most men like that are gay.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
To sucessfully keep robbers out of your house, but six locks on your door. When you leave, lock every other one. That way, no matter how long someone stands there picking locks, they're always locking three.
If at first you don't succeed, try try again. The quit. No need to be a fool about it.
We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful!
Marriage comes from heaven. But then again, so do thunder and lightening.
Marriage means commitment. So does insanity.
Don't marry a tennis player, for love means nothing to them.
Dictionary: the only place where divorce comes before marriage.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Computers make very fast, very accurate, mistakes.
Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.
No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message.
With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.
THINK-it gives you something to do while the computer is down.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
It's not polution that's harming our environment...it's inputities in our water and air.
One in every four Americans has some form of mental illness. Think about your three best friends. If they're OK then it's you.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
I'd rather regret the things I've done than the things I haven't.
Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
People have the right to be stupid, but some people abuse that privilege.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right!
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
Always remember, 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
If you beleive in telekenisis, raise my hands.
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but luckily, I don't beleive in dragons.
National Atheism Day: April 1
Children rarely misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word by word everything you shouldn't have said.
Some people will leave a mark on the world, while others will leave a stain.
If you smile when something goes wrong, you have someone in mind to blame for it.
If someone with multiple personalties threatens to kill themself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Was today really necessary?
If it's 0 degrees today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomarrow, how cold will it be?
What happens if you get scared to death twice?
I put instant coffee in the microwave and I almost went back in time.
I went for a walk last night. My mom asked how long I'd be gone. i said the whole time.
My friend got caught conterfeiting pennies. She got caught because she put heads and tails on the wrong side.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
He sometimes felt like his whole life was a dream and he wondered who's it was and whether or not they were enjoying it.
After a year in therapy, my therapist said to me "Maybe life isn't for everyone"
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
I intend to live forever....so far so good!
Don't take life too seriously, you won't make it out alive.
Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattenting. Otherwise it causes cancer in rats.
Life is a STD and it's 100% fatal.
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
Don't kick a man while he's down unless you are certain he can't get back up.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
If you never want to see a man say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children"--they'll leave skid marks. This works weather said by a women or a man.
My husband ran off with my best friend last week...man, I miss her!
The truth is finally known! Barney seems innocent and sweet but in fact he is Satan. It's all very simple:
1) Start with the given: CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
2) Change all Us to Vs (whitch is proper latin anyway): CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
3) Extract all Roman Numerals: C V V L D I V
4) Convert into Arabic values: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5
5) Add all the numbers: 666
Thus, Barney is Satan.
